In the last three years, we have gone from a family of 3 to a family of 7. In other words, as I am writing this, we have 4 children under the age of 3 years old. It would be very safe to say we have some challenges in our life. There are times when you just have to come to the realization that most of the crazy just can’t be avoided. When you have a lot of small kiddos in diapers, you have to learn to go with it.
There Is Always Something Gross On Your Clothes
Boogers, poo, baby food, spit up, mega slobber… You name it, it’s always there. Eventually, you just have to accept it as part of your wardrobe. No hanky near by? No problem, just use your shirt. Got a little poo on your thumb? No prob, just wipe it on your pants. Just always remember to wash your hands…a lot.
The house will never be as clean as you want it.
I have heard that cleaning your house when you have small children is like brushing your teeth while eating an Oreo. And that’s all that really needs to be said.
Going out to eat requires an event coordinator.
From getting them ready to getting them back home and put to bed…
Where are the shoes? Do we have all their diapers? Is everyone buckled in? Where are we going? Should I drop you off before I park? Do we need a sling, high-chair, booster, or all of the above? Should we get them food or let the just keep eating the free chips? Where is your brother? They are all crying, so we should probably go. Do you want to load up a few kids while I pay? Is it ok if they sleep in the van? Shhhh just stick him in bed.
You have to really really REALLY want to go out.
Getting all the kids to bed before 10pm = foreplay.
This probably applies to most parents no matter the number of children. I mean, do I really have to elaborate?
Sometimes you have to choose between sleep and relaxing.
Do I want to go to bed, or do I want to watch a movie? Should I get some sleep, or should I finish my book? Should I do something fun or grab a nap?
Your bed is everyone else’s bed too.
I can’t remember the last time we had our bed all to ourselves for an entire night. Sometimes, they fall asleep in our bed, and we just don’t bother to move them. Other times, they wake up at night and just help themselves. And then there are the nights you just sleep on the couch because your wife let half of them fall asleep with her before you decided to go to bed. Honestly, I wouldn’t change it. Some of our funniest most memorable moments are when our bed is filled with kids.
You will get to know every character on Disney & Sprout
Admit it. You have had discussions with your other parent friends about how whiney Caillou is, who’s your favorite My Little Pony, and if you were a Little Einstein who would you be?
Oh, and is anyone else bothered that Goofy, who is a dog, is dating Clairabelle, who is a cow? It’s just unnatural.
Babysitting costs more than the actual date.
Steak dinner for 2 plus appetizers and drinks: $80.00
Movie with popcorn and drinks: $30.00
3-4 hours of baby sitting for 5 kids: $1,000,000,000.99
Every single one of your kids will eventually fall off of something.
The bed, the couch, a tree, the swing set, the kitchen counter top, the chair, your lap, some weird contraption they engineered, …
Don’t worry, it is going to happen.
(PS. Of course you will do everything in your power to prevent it, but when it happens, it doesn’t make you a bad parent.)
Everyone else will be done eating by the time you make your plate and sit down to eat.
0-4 year olds don’t seem to understand the phrase, “Wait till everyone else sits down and we pray.” They just see the food and dig right in. I try to be polite and make my plate last, but by the time I sit down, they are all licking the bowl.
At some point every single one of your kids will have to be taught to puke in a toilet or trash can.
If I could, I would strap a bucket around their neck. They don’t seem to recognize that “uh-oh, here it comes,” feeling until it’s too late and it’s all over the bed, couch, or carpet. Just another good reason not to buy anything too nice until the kids are grown or gone. Trust me kid, you don’t have to come warn me…I will hear you!!
You will be loved more than you could ever imagine, and it is all worth it.
Yes, at times our life is chaotic and crazy, but you better believe we love every minute of it. I never thought I could be as loved as I am by my children. Maybe that’s why we keep making them. The more people we have in our home, the more chaos there is, the more love we have to share. And in this day and age, who couldn’t use a little more love in their home? Love creates wonderful memories and stories that last forever.