History tells us that beer has been around for a very long time. I am willing to bet the first time a man started a job or took a wife, God said, “Yeah, men are going to need something awesome to deal with that.” Almost every civilization throughout history has shown to have some form of beer. Recipes have been found dating back to 2050BC. I think it’s fair to say that Man’s two first loves are beer and women.
Beer has so many wonderful benefits. I’m not just talking about the taste or the buzz you get. Beer is the oldest and greatest social lubricant. Beer can start and end fights. Beer has saved lives during times of disease. As long as the world keeps turning, beer will always be in the shadows, influencing history in some form or fashion. Here are just a few of the main reasons I think beer will always be around.
As long as men go to work, men will need a beer.
We’ve all had those days when you get home from a hard days work and the only thing that can wash it down is a nice cold beer. Why do you think they invented happy hour? If you ask me, work is the reason beer was invented in the first place. Everyone needs a way to unwind at the end of the day. Even if you are with with friends or alone at the house, having a beer is the perfect way to say, “I’m off the clock and I am done thinking about work until tomorrow!” A beer in the hand lets everyone around you know you are ready for relaxation and fun. Too many beers in your hand lets everyone know you either just got fired or you have self control issues.
Beer is like currency.
Need your friends to help you move? Offer beer. Your buddy spotted you 20 bucks last week? Just tell the bartender to put his drinks on your tab. It is perfectly acceptable to offer beer to pay off a debt. The phrases “Thanks man, I owe you a beer.”, or “Don’t worry about it, you owe me a beer” are all too common amongst men.
I would also say that when the zombies come, beer will become the new gold standard. The water will be nasty and the only thing we will be able to drink safely will be beer. Not to mention the stress of living in a zombie filled society, people will be fighting over six packs of Bud Lite. (Not me though. I’ll take my chances with zombie water before I drink that stuff.)
Warning: There are some things you absolutely can not pay off with beer. For example, do not pay for a tattoo with beer. You might end up with something less than good.
Wherever there are single men, there will be beer.
Let me tell you how beer helps the single man. Not only does a couple drinks make you feel more relaxed so you can walk up to strange women, it also gives you a great place to start your conversation. “What’s that you’re drinking?” Boom! Match made in heaven…marriage and kids to follow. Not to mention, holding a beer means you don’t have to worry about what to do with your hands. Even if you never strike up a conversation with someone new, you can still enjoy a beer and have a good time with your friends.
Beer goes with everything.
Forget about wine and cheese. Every meal has the perfect beer pairing. Having pizza? Wash it down with a nice amber lager. Buffalo wings? I suggest a nice IPA. Pork chops? Go with a tasty porter. The pairings don’t just stop at food. Every event has the perfect beer. A heavy dark stout goes perfectly while sitting around the campfire on a cold night. The only time I would ever suggest a cheap light lager is floating down the river with good friends on a hot Texas day. Wine and champagne at weddings is boring. Try spicing things up with a couple fancy beer styles. I guarantee the men there will appreciate it. There’s not a whole lot of situations or meals I can think of where beer can’t be paired.
Allow me to suggest a few specific pairings:
Hot summer day at the ball park, hot dog with chips, Sam Adam’s Boston Lager
Cold morning, Pancakes, Eggs, Bacon, Extra bacon, Founder’s Breakfast Stout.
Night out with any weather, Ribeye steak with any ole sides, 512 Pecan Porter
You can apologize for almost anything with a beer.
We’ve seen it a million times in the movies and in real life. A guy walks up to anther guy at a bar and bumps his shoulder. The other guy motions to sit down. When the first guy sits he orders two of “whatever he’s having.” What you have just witnessed is an apology without either party saying a word. Nothing says “My bad,” like a couple cold ones. Now, if you sleep with another guy’s wife or total his car, the beer might not cover that. This really only applies to small arguments about 80’s horror movies and politics.
So, to sum up, I have given 5 incomplete reasons as to why men will love beer until the end of time. After Eve pulled that little stunt with the apple, God was probably telling Adam, “You have to leave, but I will have something to help you cope with this. This won’t be the last time a woman gets you into trouble.”
With all that said, allow me to finish with this. Drink responsibly folks!! Beer is not the cure for depression. I love to have fun, and beer is a part of my social life. Please just make sure it’s not a crutch and that you are not self medicating.
“Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Benjamin Franklin.